Sunday, August 13, 2006

Getting to Know Me

I think I’m hard to get to know. I don’t set out to be mysterious and when people tell me that I am, I laugh it off thinking they must be kidding. I feel that I am an open book on most occasions. But I’ve heard this so much recently that I’m starting to believe it. Maybe I am hard to know…maybe I’ve got walls that don’t come tumbling down so easily.

Isn’t that okay though?

Why do people feel the need to be so available? Put themselves so out there to the world? I’m laughing right now, because isn’t that what we bloggers do? We put our lives, loves, dreams all on the internet for everyone to see. But is it real? Is what I type and what you read about me, is that really me? Or is it what I want you to know of me? I choose to think that there is more depth to me than what I write in the entries on this blog address.

Someone asked me this weekend why I don’t divulge myself readily. I laughed it off and said something smart like “Oh, does my mysteriousness turn you on?” But he wasn’t laughing. He was serious. “Really, I’ve known you for a long time, but I don’t feel like I know you. Really know you. Why is that? Why don’t you talk about yourself?”

I don’t talk about myself because I think that if people wanted to know they would ask. Do you want to know what my dreams are for my life? Do you want to know what I would do if I had the courage? Do you want to know what my favorite number is? How about my favorite spice?

Ask me.

I’m not going to just tell you all of these “me” secrets when I don’t know what you came looking to uncover. If everyone knew all of these things, it wouldn’t make it special when you knew. Would it?

Now you need to ask yourself,

How deep do you want to go? How much do you want to know?

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