Thursday, June 22, 2006

Only child syndrome? Maybe.

Maybe it's because I am an only child. Maybe it's because I was/am spoiled. Maybe the fact that I live by myself is its manifestation and I’m destined to a life of cats, frozen dinners and weird smells.

But, I have a lot of pet peeves.

Some, I can control. Others, not so much. Some people and their "quirks" grate on my last ever-loving nerve.

** I was reading a recent post from Charming, but single and she shares one of my peeves:

"He also didn't leave a message, which is a huge pet peeve of mine. Unless you're a good friend or a family member, you leave a message. Because otherwise I can't know when it is best to call you back or what you want. Say you're calling to ask me out for a drink after work. How am I to know not to go straight home if you don't leave me a message? It's presumptuous to think I'm going to call back someone I do not know well if he or she can't be bothered to state the reason for his or her call.

So I didn't unblock him from my buddy list that night. Not because he didn't leave a voicemail. I didn't unblock him because I had a long day at work and wasn't feeling on top of my game. And because his lack of voicemail showed a lack of interest. (Also, did I mention that he cried on our second date?)"

Lack of a voice mail message definitely means to me, "I've got nothing important to say and, honestly, I’m kinda glad you didn’t answer. I was just calling to say hi." Just so you know, I may or may not call you back if you don't leave a message. I feel that I am under no obligation if you can’t make the effort to leave a message. Oh, and please keep it under 40 seconds. If you bumble around with your message for any longer than that, I’m just going to get annoyed.

** Also, in the same vein, do not call me on my cell phone while I am at work unless it’s an emergency or it’s around lunch. Texting during work hours is okay as it does not disturb and it gets what needs to be said out in the open – without me having to pick up a superfluous voicemail. Try: “Dinner? Ru Sans? 6:00?” Then I can respond via the same method and we are both not out time or the risk of being seen talking on a cell phone by the “corporate powers that be.” It’s a win-win.

** Chronically tardy people. This is just inconsiderate. By being late, you are essentially telling me that your time is more important than mine. I have some news for you, buddy; and this may come as a shock You may even want to sit down. It’s not. Your time is not more important than mine, and as soon as you realize this, I think we will both be a lot happier. Why tell me to be somewhere at a certain time…and then show up 30 minutes later? Why didn’t you call to let me know you were running late? Why do you think that because you are meeting me at my house, that I am offering you my permission to be late? I don’t recall this conversation.

** People who complain about things, while doing nothing to fix them. As an example, a person complaining about being overweight while eating a Snickers.

** People at the gym. You know the people. And so does Anna Fibee in her post about gym rats. However, my annoyances extend way beyond Anna’s. All the way to the ladies in the locker room. You know the women. They just got out of Senior Swim and are getting ready for a day of Fox News and grandchildren. But questions beg to be asked. Why are you naked? Why am I not? You are old and wrinkly…I am young and well, unwrinkly. There are changing rooms, you know. I was not sure if you were aware. Isn’t it bizarre how the ladies that should be confident in the locker room are the ones who remain clothed…and the ones who don’t care are the very ones that shed their clothing for a, shall we say, cooler alternative?

** People who instigate conflict. Why feel it is your job to make everyone feel awkward? Why do you want to argue? I am, quite possibly, the most non-confrontational person you will ever meet. If something bothers me, I like to hold it for a while, close to the vest. Think about it. Decide if it’s worth bringing up. I inherited a hot head from my dad and this is the way I have learned to avoid saying things I don’t mean or shouldn’t say. But you, Mr./Ms. Instigator, why is everything a battle? Why can’t you just take my opinion as just that, my opinion? I take your opinions to be yours and I don’t try and sway you my way. Can’t you give me the same courtesy? Don’t you know, you aren’t always right?

** People who feel the need to explain things in grotesque detail. Enough said.

** People who cut me off, mid-story, to tell one of their own. Apparently, it somehow relates. I just haven’t figured out how yet.

** Guys who wear women’s jeans. You know, designers are making men’s jeans tighter now? There’s no need for us to be wearing the same pants. Where does your member go? Are there lifelong medical implications for your member being shoved into women’s jeans? I’m sure there are. Or is your member just that small? Girls think about this, don’t think that we don’t. And the fact that you are only two sizes bigger than me freaks me out. Eat something for crying out loud. And stop looking at yourself in the mirror, your hair looks fine.


Johann said...

You made me laugh.

How cool that you're a girl who likes to be on time. I feel the same. Everyone is allowed to be late once in a while, but people who do it as a habit bug me.

I haven't seen guys wearing girls jeans, but maybe it's because I haven't been looking.

Sarah Ashlee said...

I'm glad I made you laugh! It sucks to be the only one laughing...and I think my pet peeves are pretty funny.


See, that's the thing. You're right, it's okay to be late once in a while. People seem to take this leniency to an extreme...give someone an inch and they'll take a yard.

On the topic of girl's pants: apparently, girl's pants make guy's butts look better...

Anonymous said...

You seem so young and self absorbed but I will try to be gentle nevertheless. The reason the older ladies in the locker don't give a rip about what you think their bodies are worth is because they have had their children and grandchildren and gravity and age take a toll on their bodies... and they are now comfortable with themselves. I am sorry you are not. Hopefully, one day you will grow up.

Sarah Ashlee said...

1. "Young and self absorbed?" You got me - I'm 24 - that probably makes me young; but, you say that like it's a bad thing. As for self're judging me on what I write on my blog. If I judged you on our, likewise, limited correspondences, I'd say you were bitter and hostile. See how it's not good to judge people without knowing them?

2. I don't know one woman (even women who are older - with or without children - even women with whom gravity has taken its toll) that does not struggle with her body image. What I said was not meant to knock anyone. Young, old, skinny, fat - I prefer to not see any woman completely naked...sharing her private bits to the world.

3. Please see this post regarding my pet peeve on those who instigate conflict.