Sunday, January 21, 2007

Old Love or Lack Thereof

Yesterday, I pulled out some old Cds that had lost their place in my frequent rotation. Among them was Nickel Creek. Seriously, I had forgotten about the love affair that I had with this group. Every song speaks to some monumental moment in my life.

The song "When You Come Back Down" spoke to my heart when I needed space from an ex-boyfriend. I wanted him to feel as secure in my need for space as the lyrics in the song suggested...

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

And I'll be on the other end, To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly, If you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

"Reasons Why" was there for me during this same period.

Where am I today? I wish that I knew
'Cause looking around there's no sign of you
I don't remember one jump or one leap
Just quiet steps away from your lead

I'm holding my heart out but clutching it too
Feeling this short of a love that we once knew
I'm calling this home when it's not even close
Playing the role with nerves left exposed

Standing on a darkened stage, stumbling through the lines
Others have excuses, but I have my reasons why

We get distracted by dreams of our own
But nobody's happy while feeling alone
And knowing how hard it hurts when we fall
We lean another ladder against the wrong wall

And climb high to the highest rung, to shake fists at the sky
While others have excuses, I have my reasons why

And recently, "Doubting Thomas" has spoken what I am not able to put into words in regards to the struggle I have with my faith. I have always and will always believe in God and will always be a Christian but sometimes it's hard to feel the power that I once felt.

What will be left when I've drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who've known me
Will I discover a soul-saving love
Or just the dirt above and below me

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
But I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward
If there's a master of death
I bet he's holding his breath
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die

Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted

What are some of the songs that have distinct memories attached to them for you?


xanthuos said...

Of course an entry regarding music and songs will generate a lengthy response from me! :)

It's funny that you should mention When You Come Back Down...that was my mom's song to me when I came to Belmont. Another song we share is Unforgettable, the Nat King & Natalie Cole duet.
The Prayer, notably sung by Josh Groban and Angie Stone, still chokes me sister and I sang it (or rather, attempted to through tears) at my grandmother's inurnment.
As for songs as they relate to relationships, the only two that brings emotions to the surface are Golden Slumbers & Fool On The Hill by the Beatles. One was playing when I first kissed the only woman I've loved (romantically) thus far in my life...and one I took solace in when the relationship ended. I'll let you figure out which is which! ;)

Sarah Ashlee said...

I've never thought about "When You Come Back Down" in that context, but it fits perfectly! I absolutely love "The Prayer" and I can not imagine trying to sing it through a time like what you did. That really speaks to your strength.

How have you been?! It's been awhile!