Online Advertising

An example of inventive and effective online advertising:


Remember Segregation

Unadulterated Hotness

How Many of Me?

Thanks to BBLogan for this...

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 244 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Happy National Orgasm Day!

www.globalorgasm.org/


Ya don't say...

More pictures!

Mr. Darcy in a track jacket!

The Debut!!

In keeping with the Emo'ism

Emo Orange's Profile

Emo 2.0

Incredibly funny site.
It's about Emo's - you know, Emotionals?

My Co-Workers

Cutest Laugh Ever...

Me in Southpark?

Salmon Pants turned me onto this site. Create yourself or someone you love in Southpark fashion.

Anyone else see the resemblence?

Pimp out your place - Real World style!

Very cool concept/site from CB2. Scroll through...find what you like. See how to put it in a room...purchase. It's that easy. And that inexpensive.

How awesome is that?!

Real World Denver furniture and accessories from CB2.com

Here's to the joy of Christmas!

I came home Friday night, content to put on my lounge pants, crank up the holiday jazz mix I bought last year, burn the green variety of holiday candle (you know – smells like pine), and finish decorating for Christmas. Abi and I went to see Stranger Than Fiction and I thought it was creative and morosely funny. It turned out to be more dark comedy than I had originally expected.

So, I got home. Turned the Christmas tree lights on. Lit my candles. I made my way into my bedroom to put on my pink Victoria’s Secret lounge pants. These are great pants…but you can wear them for a short period of time and they start to bag in the butt and the knees. Even though I live alone, I still like to be presentable, you know…for Mr. Darcy. But these were the pants that were calling for me the loudest from their wooden prison, deep within my lingerie chest.

I went back into the kitchen/dining/living room to begin and end the decoration for Christmas 2006.

I saw him then.

A little grey and white fuzzy head sticking out of my Parisian’s handle bag from last night’s shopping extravaganza. Mr. Darcy leapt at me from his clever hiding place, expecting to scare me. Cats are funny like that. Have you noticed that? Their thinking is, “If I can’t see you, you must not be able to see me. Therefore, I will avert one eye while keeping the other in plain site.”

He dives back into the bag making as much commotion as entirely possible. We’re playing a game, he and I. The interesting thing is that he couldn’t care less whether I was playing along or not.

I wish life were this simple. Joy from a bag. I mean, I get joy from bags now…but it’s because they are filled with the wondrous gifts that I have purchased.

When I was little, I would play in my parents’ camcorder bag…that’s right, remember those? When the camcorders were so large, they had to be propped up on shoulders and stored in what looked like a carry-on luggage baggage. I would get in there, lay as flat and as still as possible and wait for people to start looking for me.

“Bill, where’s Sarah? Have you seen Sarah? Where could she be? This isn’t like her.”

I’d lay there for as long as I possibly could, dying to let everyone in on my secret.

Looking back on it, I am pretty sure my parents knew where I was the entire time. They would just play along. Like I do with Darcy.

But I want to be on the other side of the surprise, the tom foolery, again. I want to get enjoyment out of simple things. I think it is important, especially in this holiday season, to look at the world around us as though we have the eyes of a child and the innocence of youth.

When was the last time that you couldn’t sleep on Christmas Eve? I’d lie awake trying to remember all the things I had included in my letter to Santa at the North Pole. I remember straining so hard to hear Santa and his reindeer arrive at my house but eventually, exhaustion would take over and I would fall asleep.

My mom would cook constantly throughout the Christmas season. Gingerbread houses, peppermint bark, chocolate covered pretzels, red velvet cake, sugar cookies made in holiday shapes (but half a batch with no icing…because I don’t like icing). You name it, she made it. Christmas morning I was always instructed to remain upstairs while my parents “looked at what Santa brought me...to make sure it was right.” This seemed plausible. How nice of them! Then, they’d give me the queue and off I would go, dashing down the stairs to see what treasures were beyond the banister. I’m told a story, that one particular Christmas, I cried. I cried, proclaiming that Santa had given me too much. Obviously, there had been a mistake – he had given me someone else’s presents as well as my own! Apparently, it took my parents a while to calm me down that morning. Probably not the reaction they had expected.

I can’t wait to go through all of these things with my future children. To see the wonderment and joy they have as they experience everything for the first time. Don’t you wish that we could all keep that? Let’s all try to celebrate Christmas this year with these things in mind.

Here’s to the excitement of Christmas.

Flurries, Y'all!

Flurries! They're outside!

Ah - just think...yesterday it was 78 degrees outside...today...yeah, it's 35 degrees.

I love cold weather!

Oh, and happy 1st of December!

And to all of you out there...

Never, ever let me wear something that looks like this...or that matches my child.

Thanks!

Organic

If you don't know me, you most likely don't know that I have a...shall we say, peculair diet. I like weird foods and I will try anything twice.

But lunch today was great! Totally exceeded my expectations. You can find these in your grocerer's freezer section...and I strongly recommend that you do. These have no cholesterol, no lactose and no trans fats. They're made with organic tortilla, beans and rice. Honestly, I thought that it would taste like cardboard. But it was sooo delicious. All it needed was a little but of salsa and it would have been perfect. To top it all off...it's done in the microwave in two minutes. How can you beat that??

Go out and try one today!

Lion King!

I'm going to the Lion King tonight! Be jealous...be very, very jealous!

Tom and Katie Wedding Blog

Am I a loser?

Why does this facinate me as much as it does?

Are there treatment options?

Tom and Katie Wedding Blog

So, it comes to this...

I haven't posted in quite awhile...and I know I have let you all down immensely.

Will you ever forgive me?

Will any of you come back and start reading again?

This, I suppose, only time will tell.

I have been so bogged down with grad school these past few weeks as one of my classes came to an end. Now, only one remains. And it's a joke of I class, I must say. Oh, and it could be so much better. But it's not. Have I mentioned my professor who chortles? If I have, this is his class. He chortles and has greasy hair.

And I am paying equivalent to two and a half months rent to take it. I love putting things in perspective. Don't you??

I went to Columbus, OH to visit a friend over Halloween. Turned out, I stressed out so much about my costume...I just went the day before and bought a flapper costume. Guess how I picked it out! Give up? It was the only small size remaining...that was semi non-revealing.

Has anyone else noticed this trend? Halloween has all of a sudden become some slut parade. Girls parade around town wearing nothing put underwear, hooker boots and a sword and call themselves a Naughty Pirate. How about the other illustrious ideas I saw: Captain of the Mile High Club, Naughty Referee, Wizard Wanda (a sexy take on Harry Potter costumes), Sexy ladybug and bumble bee costumes, and apparently all the beloved childhood Disney characters can be made sexy. Dirty Dorothy, Little Miss Muffit, Sexy Tin Girl (what?), Sexy Alice in Wonderland, Heidi and Little Bo Peep. It is all really ridiculous. Can't people reserve their indiscretions for the bedroom?

Here's a rule of thumb: If the costume you are wearing came from or is also sold in ForPlayCatalog.com, PinUpGirlCothing.com, ThreeWishesLingerie.com, or bears the Playboy Bunny insignia...leave it in the bedroom. I am sure you have a fantastic body...I'm sure you look great naked...in fact, you practically are naked...so I can tell you do. Just please, for the love of all things decent...don't make me have to see your nearly bare, naked ass.

If we are going to make referees, cops, gangstas, detectives, cooks, boxers, firefighters, Tool Time girls, and army women sexy, what's next?? Here are three I've complied for next year:

Sexy Fast Food Worker
Sexy Garbage Collector
Sexy Tax Accountant

A note to the uncreative: Please feel free to pillage my ideas. I will not be hurt by your blatant disregard for my originality.

...Just Because

I realize that I’m getting older and I’m okay with that. I just don’t get bent out of shape about stuff like that. Because really, life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but rather by the moments that take your, right?

Well, I’ve got a new appreciation for the older ladies and gents in my life now. The ones who take off a few years when someone asks their age. The ones who see a fellow mid-lifer and inquire softly, under their breath to me, “Do I look younger than her?”

I appreciate these people now…I appreciate and understand because I have watched the Bachelor. I remember when this show first came on TV so many years ago and I thought the ladies were so much older…and so much wiser and cooler. And now, staring at myself from the other side of the glass, I think… “I’m older than these ladies (though not by much)…and I’m certainly not cooler…wiser, yes…yes, I will give myself that.”

These ladies are my age if not younger and they are vying for this prince’s affections for him to fall in love with and marry them. Ladies, doesn’t this seem a little belittling? Demeaning? Behind the times, even? I certainly think it does.

But I’m not going to lie to you. I have watched and been entertained by two, maybe three episodes. What’s really entertaining though, is seeing the commercials and then the show…because they are always totally different.

Anyway, sorry. Back to what I was writing about.

I had a semi-out-of-body experience the other morning. I was driving to work. Listening to talk radio. Drinking a coffee with one hand and driving with the other. I had on my “big girl” clothes – a black pencil skirt, button down shirt and my fancy designer, favorite stilettos. It was then that I saw myself as I used to see people like me when I was 12 or 16 or 21…

She’s old.

I do old things. I’m older. I own my home, I own my car, I have a cat that is well nourished and plants that thrive. I work full-time, M-F, 8-5 and only miss work when I absolutely have to. I worry about retirement and savings and the future. And I am in grad school…which more often times than not makes me feel older too.

And I date. And when you date at this age, people feel better if they think you are serious about the person whom you are dating. For some reason, they need to know that you see a future…because otherwise…they think you are wasting your time. Or that your eggs are going to go bad. Or that I’m “not getting any younger.”

But then I think… “Slow down there! I’m only 24.” I mean, I know time flies at this age…but I just need a brake. I need a brake from the pressures of going older. I need to be young again. To take playtime seriously. To feel the cold, wet grass underneath my feet. To take the time to smell the sweet air of morning…because that is my favorite time of day. To wake up early and go to bed late…just because. To not worry about working out and staying fit. And eating right. And doing the most mature thing.

I want to throw a temper tantrum. Laugh until I physically can’t laugh anymore because my sides are streaming out in pain. I want to sneak into movies in the middle of the afternoon

And most of all I want to remember everyday how fast time goes…and that I am not guaranteed one more minute. And to act like a kid every once in a while…just because.

Yeah...

Just so you know...This whole not having a car thing...

It's really wearing on my every-last-loving nerve!

But! Grey's is tonight! Thank God for little miracles.

I'm going to a haunted house on Saturday and am already scared. I told someone that I might poop my pants...

She told me to stop by K-Mart to get some Depends before I left.

That really has nothing to do with anything, but at the moment, I am waiting for my dad to pick me up at work.

Yeah...

Just sittin' here...

Counting the days that pass me by... (it's a Michelle Branch song...)

One that I tortured myself with for a long time. If you go through a break-up, this is the song for you. It's strong and "I'll pick myself back up" oriented...and yet sad and depressive. Just the elements that every good break-up song should consist of.

Disturbing...and yet expected

I think quite a few people might be disturbed by the findings in this article by the New York Times.

A statistic that I found particularly disturbing was that more parents thought their child had most likely experienced sex while on drugs or alcohol than thought their child had bought porn.

Most of those surveyed were in the 11th and 12th grades and were between the ages of 16-17. Most had not had sex, stating they were waiting for the right person and/or until they were older. Silver lining?

One girl, aged 17 stated her reason for not having had sex this way, "No particular reason, I'm not like a Christian or anything." Looks like we have a reputation...

Boy, 14 stated "I don't think you should have sex in the 9th grade. Probably 10th." Yes, because so much changes...

Boy, 18 "My father tells me stories about his youth and scolds me for not having as much sex as he did." Nice, what a good father...

A mother of an 18 year old girl, "I talk about disease. Never talk about pleasure: It encourages them." Okay...somebody's sex drive is going to be screwed up...

Adult Twister?

Twister has drastically improved its odds at getting adults to play.

Aqualung Anti-Christ

Well, as you, my loyal and attentive reader may recall, I went to the Fray concert at the Ryman Auditorium on Thursday.

I was super excited and could barely breathe.

The concert and the boys of the Fray ever exceeded my teenage girl'ish expectations and desires. Anyway...here's how the night progressed.

Abi and I met Chris and his girlfriend, Lisa, at Ru San's and dined on some exquisite sushi. Again, I know I mentioned this before, but if you have not eaten here, you really should. Lisa isn't the biggest fan of raw fish and she really enjoyed herself...or at least I think she did!

On to the concert!

We get there and the opener's opener is playing. So, no one I've heard of. We get settled into our seats (eh hem...pew) and try to think if there are any last minute things we need to take care of. Bathroom, check. Phone calls, check. Food, check. Beverage, check. We're good!

Aqualung comes on. I'm excited, I like Aqualung. Not nearly as much as the Fray...but like them nonetheless. They're playing and surprisingly, everyone continues to talk, walk around and get situated. They play for a good 30 minutes and then...all Hell broke loose.

Abi and I are sitting about six inches apart we're minding our own business (as all good stories start), chatting it up (like everyone else in the audience), when there comes a massive pounding in between us on our wooden pew. Whack! Whack! Whack!

In the seconds that followed, Abi and I both thought that this Whack! must have come from someone we knew. I mean we are that popular. Surely, it was someone saying something along the lines of, "Oh my gosh! I didn't notice that was you right there? How excited are y'all for the show?! Me too! Hehehe!"

Nope.

We turn around. Smiles broad showing our big toothy grins. And this is what greets us...

"Ladies! I didn't pay $60 for these tickets to hear you bitches talk the whole time, so shut up!"

Seriously, I thought my jaw had dropped to the floor before...but relative to what I experienced Thursday night...well, those times were nothing. It seems like it took Abi and I an eternity to finally turn around and come to terms with what just happened. First off, I was called a bitch seriously for the first time in my life. Second off, I had to come to terms with the fact that I let some nobody tell me what to do.

Oh - I was furious! Probably more mad that I have been, oh ever! I start thinking of all the things that I could/should have said back to her. For instance, "When are you going to tell all the other 'bitches' in here to shut-up. Go ahead. We're waiting. You've got a lot of area to cover, oh yeah, that's right...because everyone else in here is talking!

But I didn't.

I just leaned into Abi so the Aqualung Anti-Christ couldn't see her beloved band. Then I whispered to Abi, "You have got to be kidding me."

Abi's response? It was priceless. "Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me." Oh Abi. She's one that I always wanted in a fight. I was sure that she would beat someone in my honor. But no. The Aqualung Anti-Christ got to her and I must be honest, she was extremely scary. This story is not to be taken lightly.

Well, I heard the guy that was with her say something about, "I can't believe you garble de gook." To which her response was something like, "Don't defend them! I came to hear the music, not those bitches."

So, there was only one more song when that song ended. One More! If she could have just held out one more song, she wouldn't have had to have been the Aqualung Anti-Christ! But she didn't. The break before the Fray came and I got up and looked directly at her and her "boyfriend" (to whom I hope to God is not her boyfriend today). Neither one of them would make eye contact with me. Neither one. They were both too embarrassed. Probably her for her heat of the moment actions and him for his significant other. Choose more wisely next time, buddy. She wasn't even cute.

So, long story short, I knew a friend up in the balcony and Abi and I broke in up there. It was fantastic and Hank, if you're reading this - thanks for helping us score those seats!

Here are some pictures from that night.

Missing Grey's Tonight...

...Because I'm going to see the Fray and Aqualung! People...I am so excited!

SO excited!

I am sitting here at work about to burst out of my skin. I'm going to the concert with my friend Abi and we're meeting two of my friends for dinner and drinks beforehand. I'm thinking Ru San's. Will have to get the groups consensus on this matter, however.

I think our seats suck...but deep down, I am excited about being in the same room as these bands. Sharing their air. Perhaps I will happen to breathe in some of the air they exhale.

Gross - I'm really not psychotic. Just incredibly excited! I've already said that though, right? Yeah, I did.

So Grey's will have to wait. I'll have to record it. That's right, I said record it...like on video tape. I haven't moved to the whole DVR/Tivo thing. I don't even have cable or internet. Thank God Grey's is on ABC!

I'll probably cry when the Fray plays "Look After You." Ahhh...probably my favorite song of theirs.

Smiles and happiness to everyone. Lord knows I have enough to go around!

What City Should You Live In?

DP clued me in on this test awhile back and I took it again...It changed only slightly...

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Your personality type is SCUAI

You are social, calm, unstructured, accommodating, and moderately intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: Providence, Austin, Denver, Salt Lake City, Charlotte, San Antonio, Albuquerque/Santa Fe, Indianapolis, Phoenix, Portland/Salem, Nashville, Louisville and these international countries/regions Turkey, Croatia, Slovenia, Caribbean, Puerto Rico, Iceland, Norway, Ukraine, Sweden, Denmark, Spain, Netherlands, Russia, Japan, India

What Places In The World Match Your Personality?
City Reviews at CityCulture.org

It gives you personality traits too. Here are mine:

life of the party, not bothered by disorder, not afraid of doing the wrong thing, often late, level emotions, not afraid to draw attention to self, worry free, people loving, prefers unpredictable to organized, fearless, not apprehensive about new encounters, likes philosophical discussions, disorganized, not easily annoyed, not a perfectionist, enjoys danger, comfortable in unfamiliar situations, anxiety free, always joking, not very private, very curious, not embarrassed easily, adventurous, flexible, narcissistic, trusting, easy to get to know, easy to satisfy, likes crowds, ready to act on the spot, not a bad loser, outgoing, thrill seeker, not easily discouraged, optimistic, laid back, open to new experience, slow to judge others, thinks fun is the most important think in life, socially skilled, easily talked into doing silly things, rarely prepared, willing to take risks, adjusts easily, passionate about causes, willing to explain things twice, spontaneous, relaxed, believes in universal harmony, eager to soothe hurt feelings

Online Dating Profile

I just wasted a good portion of my night looking at online profiles on Match.com. No, I am not a member, but I did create a fake membership to check all the people out. Surprisingly, I knew a lot of people on there! I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised…I don’t know, I just am.

So, in the spirit of the night I am going to write my own personal ad.

About Me:

Native Alabaman, current Tennessean. I love my friends and I love my family. I like the beach and the mountains. I graduated from high school and from college. My hair is brown and so are my eyes. I’m short and I have small hands and feet. I seem to able to balance just fine, considering this fact, though I would not consider myself graceful. I like to drink water and I limit my carbonated beverages. I like chicken and I like music. Generally, this is not a normal pairing…but I am reminded of the funky chicken as you should be. I don’t sleep enough, but when I do, I most always dream. I don’t always remember them though…but I’m sure they are good. I have a cat. He’s pretty cool. Please don’t call him a her just because he’s a cat and cats seem female to you. He is every bit as masculine as you. I like dating. Dating. When did dating stop, might I ask? When did it become appropriate to get together and rent a movie on a Saturday night? We are both not heinous – let’s go out and be seen together. Unless of course you have a girlfriend…or wife…

Seriously, I have gotten onto another subject and I am feeling the need to go on and on.

Dating – When did it become okay to just hang out? Why are there no more DTR (Defining the Relationship) talks? I just don’t get it. Where are the boys that want to date and court me? I don’t want to hang out with you! I want to date you. And guys, don’t say that you don’t have any money to date. That’s a whole load of crap. You do…you just blew it last weekend at the bar. And at the game. And on that new video game, or whatever it is that you boys play these days. Seriously, you have a job…does it pay you money? I sure as heck hope so, cause otherwise you are in more trouble that I thought. And on that note. Let’s say you are poor and you do work for free. There are tons of cool things to do that don’t cost much (if any) money. Some of the best, most creative dates I have been on weren’t “wine and dine me” dates. If a girl truly likes you boys, it doesn’t matter what you spend, what matters is that you have a good time together and get to know one another.

But I am an able-bodied young woman. I want to go out. I want to go hiking (last I checked, nature was free). I want to go to the park (again, free) and cook-out (seriously, if you can’t buy food, again…problems). I want to go and get coffee (depending on where you go…about $3 or less/person) with you and talk about what makes you who you are…and of course myself because doesn’t every girl like to talk about herself…at least that’s what I hear we girls are supposed to like. I want to get up a group of people and play board games (I have a ton…in the magic words…free for you). For God’s sake though boys, unless I am sick and want to stay at home and you are being sweet and coming over to take care of me…please, can we go out? I’m sitting on my couch right now…I can and will do this with or without you. And honestly, I prefer without. Well, that’s a little harsh…It’s just that, well, we barely know each other…It’s all happening so fast with us.

Oh and please call and ask me before hand. Please call and make plans…in advance. Not the day before…even though that has become acceptable in the recent years. But certainly not the night of. Oh my gosh, and don’t even think about texting me and asking me where I am when you haven’t asked me out. I will not meet you out and do not interrupt my night with the people that I am out with. I made plans without you...now leave me alone. Now, this is assuming that you and I don’t already have a relationship. Once the relationship has been built, the foundations laid, this is perfectly acceptable behavior. You have a life. I have a life. Everything will be fine as long as we both understand this.

Seriously, ladies. Let’s start a revolution. No advance plans, no dates. Period.

Tim and Faith! Tim and Faith!

Okay, I’m not one of those people that gets star-struck easily. Living in Nashville, we see country music stars quite often…so there’s no reason to get our panties in a wad over it. Recently, it seems as if Nashville is the cool place to be. It’s like an oasis for the Hollywood crowd. I mean, freakin’ Kid Rock moved here. Kid Rock, Pam Anderson, Katherine Heigel (Izzy from Grey’s Anatomy), Nicole Kidman…that’s all I can think of at the moment.

All this to say, that I have never been the slobbering “Oh my gah…it’s like totally a star…right there, look! Ahhh! I can barely stand it!”

Let me tell you where I just was. You’ll never believe it…okay, maybe you will…

I was just at a movie screening of Tim McGraw’s new movie, Flicka…with Tim McGraw and Faith Hill sitting a few rows back. Ahhh! I can barely stand it! Okay, Tim…take him or leave him. He seems like a nice guy…but Faith! Hello woman crush! She seems like such a genuine person. She has a handsome husband who loves and dotes on her, her children are absolutely gorgeous, oh yeah…and she is incredibly talented and beautiful.

I was able to go to this due to my wonderful friend, Abi, who works for his label. Fabulous!

So, Tim McGraw’s “Number One Fan” was there. (All persons shall remain nameless). She told us when Tim was making his way by, “If he talks to any of you, you have to introduce me. I don’t care what you’re talking about…find a way to segue to me.” Well, shocking to all I’m sure…Tim didn’t stop to talk to us.

After the show we all stood out in the lobby giving NOF the run down of what Tim was doing at that exact moment.

“Okay, he’s facing us now.”

“Okay, Faith is walking this way but Tim is still over there.”

“Ohhh! Ohhh! They are both walking this way! They’re coming!”

And there they came. NOF turns, grabs Tim’s arm and says:

“I just want to thank you for being so wonderful.”

What?! Haha – Oh NOF!

Tim thanks her and walks off…like it is completely normal for people to thank him for being born everyday. Yeah…not something on my daily agenda. Brush teeth, check. Bathe, check. Feed the cat, check. Be idolized, check, check.

Technorati Profile

Changes!

You may have noticed somethings are different around these parts...you may not have.

Either way...

The changes were made!

It's kind of like a facelift. Only without the scalpels, investment, pain, and healing time.

Hope you like it like a muskrat loves plum goodies!

Halloween Costume?

I can't decide what to be! I'm going to Ohio to visit my friend Michael...SO I was thinking that we could go as Tom and Katie!


His response? "Gross...Cooties!" I thought it would be hilarious! But apparently not.

Michael came up with an idea as well...It only needs one picture...


I nixed it pretty quick. I'm for one not Amazonian. Brigitte is like 6'1 or something...ginormous.

What do yall think? What should I be for Halloween?

Other thoughts from various unnamed contributors were:






I still like Tom and Katie...and that requires no costume...just a bun in the oven... :)

Too much time on my hands...

Perhaps...

Sunday Woes

Last night, I picked up my friend Abi from the airport. She had visited her family in North Carolina and was coming in from a relaxing weekend. Abi called me when her flight landed and I headed off to the airport to play the good friend role.

The airport was really crowded last night for some bizarre reason; then again, maybe it always is and I just never fly so I wouldn’t know. So I circled once. I got back around and Abi still wasn’t there. I circled again. Still not there…so I decided to see if anyone would notice if I lingered in the unloading zone. Well, the Parking Nazi did…and he was about 80 years old…but he was scary…don’t be fooled by outward appearances or age. With a stiff finger and several tense moves he directed me out of my spot and there I was, circling again.

Abi called to let me know they had lost her luggage. They weren’t exactly sure where it was, but it was indeed lost. So, while she talked with the airline about next steps I waited in my car in the waiting area…without the Nazi.

I was given word about 10 minutes later that Abi was on her way out. I went to meet her. She was, needless to say, a tad vexed. I tired to comfort her in the best way I knew how…”Um, it could be worse…” which is never helpful.

We started on our way to drop her off at her car, which was parked at her office. While en route I kept hearing this buzzing noise. I thought perhaps there was some sort of large beetle or *scary* some sort of biting/stinging inset. But it sounded like it was coming out of my dash board. From the inside. I turned on the blinker and it stopped.

Seconds later, the ABS light came on and then the Airbag light came on, followed by the Check Engine light. Awesome. Well, all I had to do was make it home, right. Right. So, we’re trucking on down I 4-40. We get on 1-65 N and the radio goes off. Silence. Then the interior console lights go off. Now I can’t see how fast I’m going. Though it sure is a blessing not seeing all those glaring lights shining back at me telling me to check things that I don’t know what are. As long as I’ve got headlights, right. Right.

Then they go off. Awesome. I’m traveling down the interstate not knowing how fast I’m going and without headlights…and also with an expired tag.

I called my parents because they always know what to do. Always. Of course, as usual, they did. We made our plan and Abi and I continued on to her office. We were pulling up to the gate at her building and I had to put my window down to enter in the key code. Yeah…the whole electrical thing wasn’t working so well…but the window finally did go down. Just didn’t so go back up so well. The distance from the gate to Abi’s car is about 75 feet. In this time, Abi asks me…”Do you think you’ll make it back to my place, or do you think you should just leave your car here?”

“Oh, I think I’ll make it. Just make sure to follow behind me.”

Then my car starts sputtering. And it dies. Right there. Rolling into a parking space.

Poor little Jetta. She made it as long as she could.

So, here I am again. Carless and at the mercy of others.

Only now, I’m out of a warranty. Perhaps because it was an existing condition they will help me out again. And by help out, I mean pretend to fix things while scratching their asses.

Oh, I’m sorry.

And yet, not really.

A Hahaha - Hilarious!

Seriously, this is the funniest, most bizarre commercial I have seen in a good long while. Thanks Skittles!

Obit?

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Pictures - Mr. Darcy's bath and Saturday night

Pictures as promised. Enjoy.

Mr. Darcy oh so comfortable before his bath. Poor thing...he needed one bad, though.

Peeking out of a towel...

Hahaha - Ahh, um drying off in a towel after the bath. He always acts paralyzed...
Maybe the towel is just too tight...

Hiding under the kitchen table after his bath.

Abi and me.

Again.

Billy and me.

Abi and Billy.

Not much really...

I really don't have anything to blog about...but I wanted to write something. Wanted to let people know I was still alive. Perhaps a stream of consciousness will occur and I will end up with an amazing piece of "blogerature." Perhaps? Perhaps not.

First, I bought new plants. They're great. Really, they are. I bought them because I read this article about how plants provide fresh oxygen into home environments. Score! Who wants recycled oxygen in their place...not me! In any case, Darcy likes to eat them. More or less, really, he just chews on the leaves. So, they are all elevated around my place - out of his reach. I can't have anything around here! No plants, no drapes, shouldn't have blinds...he might hang himself...Ugh! Darcy! What a pest! A cute, completely lovable pest.

Second, I was at Wendy's this week getting my boss and I lunch. I had the window down in the rental at the drive-through line and was jammin' out. Yeah. Completely jammin' out. I had this really sticky lip gloss on so when I felt something on my face, I thought it was my hair getting caught up in it. Well, it wasn't. Nope, not that lucky. It was a spider. That's right. A spider. I completely freaked out! All my flailing gets him off my face....but he landed on right breast. Yeah. Awesome. I flicked him off and he landed on my glorious rental car's arm rest. There was nothing in the car to kill him with so I reached for the first thing in my purse that I could find and I swung. I hit hard, man. Hard. He splattered. It was gross. My fake Louis Vuitton wallet will never be the same.

Season premiere of Grey's? Anybody? Anybody? Hello? It was fantastic! Fan-flippin'-tastic.

I found out that my friend Michael is coming into town this coming weekend...and that is also fantastic.

I painted my fingernails red. It makes them look shorter and paler...but sometimes a girl just feels like having fire engine red fingernails.

Abi and I are going out tonight. There could be pictures to follow...keep a look out this week for some!

It hailed on my Jetta today. I haven't been able to go outside yet and look at it to see if there was any damage. I don't think there would be...it was just nickle size hail...but still y'all...Can you believe it? If it's bad luck and it has to do with me and my car...it will happen.

Speaking of the storm, my power went off today as well. I basically live in a cave; if there isn't any artificial light, I am pretty much SOL. So, for an hour this afternoon I just sat here and watched Darcy freak out at the thunder. I tried to calm him down with the first few claps...but then I realized it was a loosing battle and the skin on my arms was loosing big time.

This guy keeps coming to my door...the same one...I can see him out my peep hole. He's been by here three times but never leaves anything. I don't know who he is. Freak. I feel like a complete hermit...looking out the peep hole and then not answering the door. Haha...and then writing about him in my blog. Haha...seriously, who really is the freak here?

I needed toilet paper so I went to Target. They didn't have any small packs...they ran out...Um a run on toilet paper? Who knew!? Anyway, I had to have toilet paper...it's not one of those things that you can say..."Eh, I'll pick it up tomorrow from the grocery store." No, when you need toilet paper, you generally need toilet paper. So, I bought the 24 pack. Yup, ladies and gents, I have 24 (my bad - 23) roles of TP in my place. Don't think I'll be needing to buy that anytime soon...

My dad and I met for breakfast on Friday morning at Panera. It's always great to be able to spend one on one time with him.

My place is a disasterious disgrace. The house police should come pick me up and haul me off. And yet, here I sit.

The Fray concert is coming up and I can't wait! Yay!

Okay, I seriously can't think of anything else. That kind of catches everyone up...Maybe?

My Baby's Back!

She's back and she's hopefully better than ever! I had my doubts, you know. I was looking at other cars/SUV's, thinking that I would sell her when I got her back...

But when we reunited...it was glorious! I hugged her little steering wheel and apoligized to her for my lack of confidence. When I bought her, I promised forever...Until death do us part...and I was a pig to think that we might not go though hard times. Well, hopefully those times are behind us now. Our relationship can now proceed and flourish, the way it used to be.

I can now rejoin my Lincoln Park Trixie Society... :)

Let the obsession begin!

It's Time! Grey's Anatomy is back and I can't wait...only a few more days! I have been waiting long enough for this time to arrive and to prepare...well, I've been reading the writers' blog! That's right! Don't know if you're aware...but the writers of Grey's have a blog and it is every bit as funny as the show...only with less physically attractive people...seeing as it is online.

Anyway!

I don't think that I can express how very sad I am that Denny died...and what in God's name are they going to do with Izzie?! Please, oh please, don't tell me that she is really going to quit the program! Seriously, if it weren't for her...I wouldn't like any of the girls on the show. Meredith is too whiny and Christina...well, she's the second favorite...but she's just so unemotional sometimes...Though, we do get a glimpse at something soft and squishy inside of her every now and then...

The other one...Um...the one who lives in the hospital...the bone doctor...well, she's just weird. Plus she peed in front of Izzie and Meredith who were complete strangers. That's just too close...too fast...

Well, so much for my obsession! McDreamy, George...I'll see you both on Thursday.

Should be studying but...

This was too good to pass up...

I took this quiz on Emode.com - it's probably one of the best timewasters on the net. Sometimes it scarily accurate...sometimes it's laughably inaccurate. This time...well, friends, you tell me... :)

I will have to say, the end...hilarious! ADD? Who knew?

Sarah, you're single because you don't want to compromise

You live alone and like it, thanksverymuch. Well, at least some of the time. You prefer coming and going as you please, and you don't like to be controlled or held responsible for someone else's schedule or needs. After all, you probably have plenty of friends, a satisfying career (or other projects to occupy your time), and you may simply not have room for another person right now — unless of course they can bend to meet your routine exactly. Does this sound familiar?

While we admire your go-it-alone attitude — and your carefree, open-minded spirit — you may be shutting out others from your life without realizing it. You never know, maybe if you met the right person you could learn to grow together — while holding onto your hard-earned independence.

You may have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), a condition your doctor can help treat. Take a brief screener to find out if you may have the symptoms.

Quick post...

Wine on the River was great! It could not have been a more beautiful day for such an event and the pedestrian bridge proved to be the perfect venue. I was able to see a lot of friends that I haven't been able to see in awhile and I got to learn a little bit about wine. Please people, don't be under the assumption that I know (I'm sorry, knew) anything about wine. And honestly, I still am lacking in that department. But I have knowledge of ports and dessert wines now as well as Spanish wines. And I also know that a little sampling of those ports go a long way. I learned that I like sweeter and wetter wines. Did you know that Spanish wines are typically more dry? They apparently are! This is due to the somewhat dry climate in Spain which in turn makes the soil more dry and in turn makes the grapes and the wine more dry. Interesting!

One of the funny parts of the afternoon was as the event began to wind down and come to a close. The crowd at WOTR is fairly diverse. You've got the people around my age mixed in with people around my parents age. You just don't typically see these two co-mingling whilst imbibing. Well, as you can imagine people were naturally a little intoxicated from all the generous samples towards the end...and well, people started to be a little more flirtatious. What was funny was when guys about my dad's age...or older...would come over and blatantly hit on my friend and I. I guess it's funny because it's rare that I get hit on by someone who receives senior citizen's discounts at Kroger.

Ahhh...Good times.

Ohh and a side note...I had the best chocolate covered strawberry Of. My. Life.

Wilbur's obese cousin and a nuked penis

Quite possibly the funniest two articles I have read in a while.

150 lb. porker esacpes tasers, jaunt down interstate and slaughter. Pending adoption to local lawyer. Guess he really brings home the bacon...(thanks Tom!)


A PA woman pleads guilty to nuking a fake penis filled with urine in a convenience store microwave in order to pass a drug test. She wanted the urine to be room temperature.

Oh dear...Thong Girl 3?

For those of you not from Nashville, you may not know where Gallatin is. Apparently, Gallatin Mayor, Don Wright, does not know where Tennessee is. Smack dab in the Bible Belt. According to this article in the Tennessean, Mayor Wright allowed “Thong Girl 3” to be filmed in his office and has subsequently “raised some eyebrows in town.”

Ya think?!

Wright, of course claims he had no knowledge of the film’s subject matter and only knew generally what it was about. "They told me it was a film about a superhero woman and there was no nudity or any kind of offensive stuff in the film," Wright said.

Let me fill you in on this film series.

The superheroine (assuming this would be Thong Girl) dons red underwear and "polices the skies with an iron fist" to keep Nashville safe. This is according to the Thong Girl Web site, thonggirlfilms.com. That’s right, there is a website ladies and gentlemen.

Apparently, a citizen, Jim Hawkins is in support of the Mayor, stating "the idea didn't appeal to him but he has faith in the mayor's judgment.” Really? Are you sure about that? "I would say that I will have to reserve judgment until I see the movie — but since I'm never going to see the movie, I guess I won't be making any judgment about the mayor's cinematic ethics. From knowing Mayor Wright, however, I do not believe that he would knowingly allow City Hall to be used for improper purposes." Then why aren’t you going to see the movie Mr. Hawkins? Inquiring minds want to know.

The filmmaker, Glen Weiss stressed that his movie is "family friendly. This is definitely a PG-13 movie. There's no nudity, no cussing and no sex. The family can go to this."

Friday night, honey, I have an idea! Let’s take the kids to see “Thong Girl 3!” They’ll love it! So it’s got a scantly clad women in nothing but a cape and a red thong? What’s the big deal? I’m sure Superman was risqué in his day too…wearing his underwear outside his pants and all.

Weiss went on to say that at comic book conventions "Kids come up to her. She has a cape on. She's very modest." Yeah, I bet!

Get this though…here’s another kicker to the story –

“The plot line involves Thong Girl's alter ego, Lana Layonme, who went shopping at a lingerie store one day and put on a pair of red thong underwear, which gave her magical powers. In the third installment, Thong Girl faces off against her nemesis, the Dark Widow, who's out to take over country music and turn its artists into rappers.” Seriously? Really? This is a movie? Let’s pronounce Thong Girl’s alter ego. Lana Lay-on-me? Yeah, family friendly. Also, on a side note…why’s the Widow gotta be the bad person? Who gave widows a bad name is what I want to know.

On a side (but so appropriate) note, Wright apparently got into some hot water earlier this year for asking a female employee if she had breast implants.

Wright is quoted as saying, "This is a chance for our people to get in the movies and make some money. I was excited about it."

He shocked when he looked at the Thong Girl Web site and was "surprised" by what he found.

"I didn't have a clue." I’m sorry, but did the title of the film not clue you in?

"If there's something derogatory or sexual in it, I'm not pleased about anything like that being in my office. Of course, nobody would want to see that," the mayor said. Haha, if? IF? The plot centers around a superheroine that flies around in a THONG. A THONG!

To close, a questions begs to be asked. "Thong Girl 3?" Please don't tell me that somewhere out there there is a "Thong Girl 1" and "2." Please don't tell me that these achieved so much success that there would actually be funding to create a third. Sometimes...most times...I worry about the society that I live in. Get a life people and stop watching comic book porn.

Wine on the River

Wine on the River comes once a year here in Middle Tennessee and from what I hear, it is an event that should not be missed. Many local and national wineries will be there sampling some of their best. For attending, you get an etched wine glass too! I know, I know...It's all too much.

It's held on the Shelby Street Bridge (or "The Pedestrian Bridge") which overlooks NashVegas and it's this Saturday. I highly recommend going if you hadn't planned on it.

I understand there is a lot going on in our little town this weekend...but seriously folks...I'll be there...and I'll be volunteering (aka pouring the vino).

So, remember...Do what you must but come Saturday, it's Wine on the River or bust!

Better not Bitter End

This week has been so frustrating! This too shall pass, though. Right? Right…

And, I do believe that. I am an unfailing and generally unfaltering optimist. All the way to the bitter (hopefully, not “bitter”…possibly “better”) end.

I would love to go into all the reasons why this week has been so trying. For reasons that I won’t give besides I don’t want to be a complainer…and I am a generally private person…I will spare you the specific details.

However, I will say it like this:

I hate being overlooked for things and I hate when my work and intelligence is not respected. I get frustrated when reason is failed to be given or when reason lacks congruency in thought. I hate to see creativity and ambition smothered.

And, I hate waiting in traffic.

Man, Nashville traffic sucked yesterday! And, apparently it was “Cut Sarah Off” and “Turns Signals are Just Accessories” day too.

See, I already feel better. Thanks for listening…er…reading. I’m off my soapbox and I am finished with my diatribe.

Just know, if I were a drinking woman, I would not only have had a liquid lunch…I would have had a liquid afternoon and night too.

Buckets O' Beer in Pictures

Abi, I promised I would post pictures from our Girl's night. To all others, if you've been keeping up with my blog...which I highly doubt, this is the night from the post Buckets O' Beer.

Amy, this is what you missed!

The night begins. Abi, I think these were from the crazy guys...

Andy took this one, I believe. Do we know the guy in the blue?

Not the best picture we've ever taken...

And we tried again...Is my chin really that pointy?

Amy, do you recognize the guy with the mic? Yeah, you know who that is...

Amy, he's coming for you! It almost looks like he's coming in at a jog...or that he just dismounted a horse...either way...it's all positives from my vantage! :)

Abi, this one is yours! Looking back on it, he was attractive. Humm.


Abi, you need to send me pictures from this past weekend. Since my camera was dead, you have them all. There were some good ones in there from what I recall. Hum, that rhymed.

Updates!

Here are more pictures from my hiking adventure at Fall Creek Falls this past weekend:


Brian in transit...

Daniel and Christian in the car on the way to the park.

Daniel, Christian and Brian...Seriously, this one's a keeper!

And so is this one! Christian and Daniel dangling their feet off the first falls.

Doug, Christian and Brian swimming at the second falls.

Danielle, Doug, Christian and Brian making their way to the falls.

Group shot!

Katie, Doug, Danielle, Brian, Daniel, and Christian

Oh yeah...

And I don't so much heart my Jetta anymore. Poor thing has been in the shop for months...luckily, she was still in warranty (which includes rental car coverage).

What am I driving right now? Oh, a Mitsubishi Galant. Be jealous. Very, Very jealous.

Since the beginnings of my ordeal with Volkswagen though, I have driven a Hyundai Sonata, a Dodge Stratus, and my current...Mitsubishi Galant.

Did you know that Enterprise can sell the car that you are driving? Because they can. That's right. If you are in a rental that has close to 40,000 miles...wait for that phone call...Enterprise will be calling you up to trade cars with you. It's happened to me twice so far. Luckily, the new car only has 14,000 miles. Who knows how many I will be able to put on the Galant by the time my car is complete.

Apparently, Baby Jetta needs a new alternator and the alternator is on a "National Backorder." (As stated by Hallmark Volkswagen)

When I call for the status, they tell me "Well, Ms. Jetta, the computer says that it's 'in process.'" Awesome, it's been 'in process' for 2 months now.

I've also gotten, "Oh, you're the white Jetta!" Comforting. Real comforting.

Now, how 'bout giving me some information on Lemon Laws in Tennessee...

Fall Creek Falls

I went hiking on Sunday at Fall Creek Falls , a Tennessee state park. My friends and I went back in February when snow was covering the ground, so this time it was considerably different! It was a lot more relaxing and fun because I didn't have to worry about slipping on ice and falling down like 50,000 feet. Yeah, that's right. 50,000 feet.

I took some pictures with my camera and will upload those as soon as I can. Here are some that I have received from my fellow hikers.

Above was our whole group taken overlooking the falls.

Swimming in the falls. A tad chilly for me! Looks like fun though!


I'll post my updates as soon as I get them! Have a great week!