Yeah, dumb$%*&, It was funny...

So, I was thinking back to a time…a long time ago. A time when I was a novice drinker. In fact…I had only partaken of one kind of beverage…and that was Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Scratch that…there was one time when a friend got me heavily intoxicated with whiskey but that doesn’t count. Why? Because it wasn’t the plan. It was all his idea.

Anyway, this particular instance I was feeling a little, shall we say, frisky. I didn’t want to drink by myself…because what’s the fun in that, but my roommate didn’t feel like drinking. I convinced myself that since she was in the room, that drinking with her there did not constitute as drinking alone, though I would be the only one drinking.

So, there I was, three bottles of Mike’s down and three to go. Three was all it took to get me intoxicated at the time. Now? Well, I have no idea how many Mike’s it would take…I haven’t had them since…probably this night.

We were watching the Florida/UT game on TV in our dorm and this AFLAC commercial came on. The script was the usual – duck trying to get someone to pay him attention…but remember, this was when these commercials first came out. I don’t think that we had seen them before. I just thought it was hilarious when the duck said “AFLAC!”

So...I spit my Mike’s everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean everywhere.

My roommate looked at me scornfully and un-amused.

“What??” I said, drunken cheeks ablaze. “It was funny!”

“Yeah, dumbshit. It was funny. But now you’ve got Mike’s all over your keyboard.”

Good times.