Friday, September 15, 2006

Oh dear...Thong Girl 3?

For those of you not from Nashville, you may not know where Gallatin is. Apparently, Gallatin Mayor, Don Wright, does not know where Tennessee is. Smack dab in the Bible Belt. According to this article in the Tennessean, Mayor Wright allowed “Thong Girl 3” to be filmed in his office and has subsequently “raised some eyebrows in town.”

Ya think?!

Wright, of course claims he had no knowledge of the film’s subject matter and only knew generally what it was about. "They told me it was a film about a superhero woman and there was no nudity or any kind of offensive stuff in the film," Wright said.

Let me fill you in on this film series.

The superheroine (assuming this would be Thong Girl) dons red underwear and "polices the skies with an iron fist" to keep Nashville safe. This is according to the Thong Girl Web site, That’s right, there is a website ladies and gentlemen.

Apparently, a citizen, Jim Hawkins is in support of the Mayor, stating "the idea didn't appeal to him but he has faith in the mayor's judgment.” Really? Are you sure about that? "I would say that I will have to reserve judgment until I see the movie — but since I'm never going to see the movie, I guess I won't be making any judgment about the mayor's cinematic ethics. From knowing Mayor Wright, however, I do not believe that he would knowingly allow City Hall to be used for improper purposes." Then why aren’t you going to see the movie Mr. Hawkins? Inquiring minds want to know.

The filmmaker, Glen Weiss stressed that his movie is "family friendly. This is definitely a PG-13 movie. There's no nudity, no cussing and no sex. The family can go to this."

Friday night, honey, I have an idea! Let’s take the kids to see “Thong Girl 3!” They’ll love it! So it’s got a scantly clad women in nothing but a cape and a red thong? What’s the big deal? I’m sure Superman was risqué in his day too…wearing his underwear outside his pants and all.

Weiss went on to say that at comic book conventions "Kids come up to her. She has a cape on. She's very modest." Yeah, I bet!

Get this though…here’s another kicker to the story –

“The plot line involves Thong Girl's alter ego, Lana Layonme, who went shopping at a lingerie store one day and put on a pair of red thong underwear, which gave her magical powers. In the third installment, Thong Girl faces off against her nemesis, the Dark Widow, who's out to take over country music and turn its artists into rappers.” Seriously? Really? This is a movie? Let’s pronounce Thong Girl’s alter ego. Lana Lay-on-me? Yeah, family friendly. Also, on a side note…why’s the Widow gotta be the bad person? Who gave widows a bad name is what I want to know.

On a side (but so appropriate) note, Wright apparently got into some hot water earlier this year for asking a female employee if she had breast implants.

Wright is quoted as saying, "This is a chance for our people to get in the movies and make some money. I was excited about it."

He shocked when he looked at the Thong Girl Web site and was "surprised" by what he found.

"I didn't have a clue." I’m sorry, but did the title of the film not clue you in?

"If there's something derogatory or sexual in it, I'm not pleased about anything like that being in my office. Of course, nobody would want to see that," the mayor said. Haha, if? IF? The plot centers around a superheroine that flies around in a THONG. A THONG!

To close, a questions begs to be asked. "Thong Girl 3?" Please don't tell me that somewhere out there there is a "Thong Girl 1" and "2." Please don't tell me that these achieved so much success that there would actually be funding to create a third. Sometimes...most times...I worry about the society that I live in. Get a life people and stop watching comic book porn.


Tommy Boy said...

Hey, maybe the bad guy (or girl) will be the same character from Austin Powers, "Alotta Fagina." LOL

Sarah Ashlee said...

Haha - hilarious Tom! I bet the Mayor wants in on some of that action? What do you think his superhero name would be?

Anonymous said...

In the interest of full-disclosure (pun intended), shouldn't you let everyone know that you tried out for, but weren't offered, the part of Thong Girl in the original Thong Girl movie? Seems only fair.